BRC

 The BRC was off-site. Probably for the best since there was a lot to get off my chest. 

It started off with the usual review topics. Top three wins, top three losses, and an overview. My review came in deck formation. Although it was made the night before, I got my main points got across. I add value to the team, and to this company. On that high note, I didn’t forget to mention my forgotten bonus. To be fair a lot has happened since that verbal promise was made. And it simply was that, he had forgotten about it. 

I didn’t have any goals set up. mainly because I didn’t know what the companies goals were. And by company, I mean the actual money makers. We know someone’s goals, which clearly do not align with anyone else’s. 

Towards the end/overview we segued into the many dysfunctions at the office. It has been a long time coming, but all of it needs a solution. I cannot continue to see myself working for a company that is so disconnected from the top down. The glue that is holding me there, is loyalty and friendship. But those do not pay the bills. In this ecommomy the stress of bills are already enough. I do not need this much drama at a job that is just okay.

It was nice to have some transparency about how he sees the company functioning for the near future. I’m hoping that this movement puts someone in their place. Although I have not been face to face with this monstrosity, I have been indirectly and publicly targeted. I have been told what she says about me, when Alan and I are not in the room. That my work is questioned, that I don’t know how to make reels, that I shouldn’t be taking vacation. 

All this cowardly talk is so easy behind my back. All of this wouldn’t mean much coming from any person. But when it comes from your “employer” you begin to wonder why you’re working for them at all. This is all coming from an owner of this company, some one who should be in a “leadership role” who should be wanting to better their staff instead of putting them down all the time. It effected me more than I thought, and unfortunately that emotional side came out in front of Alan. I guess because I felt I could be venerable with him. 

I have so much respect for him, as an owner, person, friend. It truly baffles me that he would want to keep any ties with this woman. But that is also just the nice man that he is. 

I’m really sad about Emily leaving for personal reasons, but at the same time I’m actually more happy to see her go and watch her future flourish. She has a fire in her that has been constantly blown out by people at the company. But all that pressure is only going to make her so much more of the diamond that she already is. I have so much appreciation for her being such a good friend, having my back and telling me when someone was talking shit. She deserves the best.