Lately I've been feel like my heart & mind have been playing the roll of Tweedle dee & Tweedle dum. At most times they finish each others sentences, acting in sync. But as soon as they are faced with a questioning dilemma they point in different directions with such confidence. Then it leaves me in question wondering if how I felt was really how I felt. I'm a very "in the moment" kind of person, which I don't think is very good. I get all caught up in the moment and that's when tweedledee&tweedledum play in sync for the time being. Then I ask myself do I really want what I thought I wanted? Should I keep going with how I feel? Or should I stop because I know I won't feel that way later? All factors of tweedledee&tweedledums differences. My mind plays the roll of thinking ahead. Having knowledge from past decisions and calculating it with present situations then concluding it for future answers. Or in other terms, playing it smart. Then there's the heart. This is where the living in the moment is originated from. I like to believe I have a big heart, and with a big heart comes a lot of passion. The heart feels emotions, sadness & happiness. It craves for being loved, being passionate, & not being alone. Like I said before I like to believe I have a big heart, therefore I'm also big on being loved, being passionate & not being alone. That's just how I am. So yes, I do very much enjoy someone's company. And as much as I love receiving, i'm all for giving just as much.
I found recently one of my favorite things to do is napping, but not alone. There's just something about being with someone and being able to be at complete relaxation and rest that makes me feel sooo.. good. We could both be facing the same way and your arms wrap around me, or facing each other with your arm around my waist and my hand resting behind your neck, or facing each other with just our hands holding each other underneath the pillow with very little amount of space between the two of us causing sensual tension or, or, or.... The list just goes on. Either way sleeping next to someone just feels sooo good. Even getting up springs another good feeling over me. Waking up before the other person watching them be at peace, looking so innocent as if they were a baby, or waking up to see the other person watching you with a smirk on their face, or, or, or... Doesn't matter how but it just makes you're heart smile. Napping with a special someone is officially on my top 3 favorite things to do.
Tweedledee&tweedledum are confusing me. I know what I want.. Or should I say what DON'T want. But this heart is hungry for some loving. This is where dance comes in and fills in that empty spot of passion. Its pleasing enough, but not satisfying. I'm trying to play it smart and its working. This will be good for me in the long run.
-cp
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
No comments:
Post a Comment