for a reason

all of the hardships from the past had its effects on me. each and every situation i've been put through has taught me something to keep. now i'm not sure if "what [didn't] kill me [made] me stronger" but it did make me harder. almost all of it made me grow-up unwillingly and a lot sooner than expected. opportunities have come before me but i've learnt to take some & leave some, and be picky with all. and if its some bullsht i'm not down with then i'm not going to take that. move on and keep going.

but all that has happened, happened for a reason.

going to practices

driving that night

exchanging numbers

going to church

your phone call

this night...

all happened for a reason. someone out there is watching over me. you're just one more thing thats getting me closer to helping me keep my sanity. & honestly i wasn't sure if i was ready to let you in. well, i haven't even fully let you in so i'm still not sure if i'm ready. but this is fate. one of the most fortunate and blessed people out there intertwining with one of the unfortunate & unlucky people, and coincidentally in the same neighborhood.

i could have easily been super picky this time. just like i have been with the last few that i've walked away from. and honestly i was starting too. but tonight you changed my mind. you let me tear down your walls. you showed me your comfort zone to show me how safe i could be around you. and just like that all of the flaws i've started to pick out, well were still there, but now they became silent. hushed by your charm you showed me a different way to look at you, without using my lust-filled heart & eyes. those too became silent. no, let me rephrase that. they were now absent.

phone on vibration. bbm asking for attention, but my focus is somewhere else now.